Updating, once again (:

This is kind of long, but it’s more about how I feel than what I’ve done.

I love everything about it here. The smell of the grocery stores, the happiness of the people, the cleanliness of the streets, the huge smiles from strangers, the language…Everything. Everything about Spain, I love. There have been so many good times, and I know that these memories I’m creating every day with be forever engraved into my brain. Though there are not-so-great things here, I’m learning to embrace it; to embrace this different culture.

The first few weeks that I was here, I saw no differences. Of course, the style, and the place, and how the people look are different, but I had no idea how different this place truly is, beneath all of the tangible things. People act different here. I’m not talking about table manners, (although I have embarrassed myself numerous times due to those), I’m talking about their expectations of you. They expect you to be able to do mostly everything on your own. Get to and from school, if you need something somewhere pretty far away (or close for that matter), you’re expected to be able to get it yourself, and take care of all of your paperwork for school and whatnot. I’m not really used to doing those things for myself (I love you Mom!). On the other hand, there are things that you are not expected to do, which have almost been just as difficult as being expected to do something. I’m not expected to clean my room, do my laundry, wash the dishes or make my bed, which are hard habits to break, as I’ve been doing most of them for almost 16 years, and those are considered polite in America. My counselor explained to me why this is. She said that it was because if I did those things myself, it’s inferring to my family that I don’t think that they can afford “help”. Understandable, but different.

I have so much freedom here. Most of the time I love it, but there are some times where I wish my family would tell me what to do, and what they want of me. I don’t have a curfew here. WOOHOO! Right? Not so much… I feel like when I get home very late, that I’m in some way disrespecting my host family. I might be crazy, but that’s how I feel. A few weeks ago, my host mom picked my friend and me up from a birthday party at three in the morning! If I had known that she was going to be staying up that late anyways, I wouldn’t have felt so guilty, but I didn’t know at the time that she stays up that late regardless. My mom in Florida doesn’t like driving me places past about nine p.m., so it’s pretty different here I think.

School here is really similar to school in America. But there are also some pretty noticeable differences. The teachers are more lenient, there’s no dress code, there’s no tardy bell, and kids never stop talking in class. But the teachers don’t seem to mind. There’s no dress code?!? WHAT??!! Before school, when I asked my host family what I could and couldn’t wear to school they looked at me like I was weird. I understand why now, though. In America, if there was no dress code, you’d have to look at even more trashy clothes all day long. Here, people dress totally normally. I think that’s where the saying, “It’s only a big deal if it’s against the rules,” comes in. Spain is so smart. I think that school just isn’t as serious here. The other day, a boy in my class caught a pidgin during “patio time” or lunch time, put it in a bag, and was putting it in my and other people’s faces all during class. Disgusting? Yes. Did the teacher care? No. All the teachers just laughed! Crazy! I have made a lot of new friends, which makes me really happy! And I’m at a point in my Spanish that I don’t have to get my friends that speak both English and Spanish, to call my mom and ask her if I can hang out with them. I can ask her myself!

Sometimes, my lack of knowledge of the Spanish language frustrates me. Actually a lot of the time. I feel like a baby having to learn how to speak. But it’s normal for a baby not to be able to talk. But I’m fifteen, and I really enjoy talking! And about eighty percent of the time I’m explaining myself, stuttering, and talking so slow even I get bored with what I’m saying. I’m used to talking all of the time, with my friends, with strangers, with anybody! A lot of times here, I feel completely discouraged and helpless. Sometimes, I doubt that I can even be successful in learning another language and making new friends. Especially in school, I find myself trying to blend in with everyone (although it’s tough seeing at I’m one of maybe 2 blondes in the school) and try not to get called on or spoken to. I’m trying to break that habit though! And every day that I talk more, I notice myself speaking more clearly, faster, and with words that I didn’t even know I knew. It’s an awesome feeling.

There are so many times when I have absolutely no clue what someone is saying to me. When I don’t understand something, I just smile as nice as I can, nod my head and say, “Si, si.” I need to either learn Spanish, or stop saying si because I have dug myself into so many graves! The first or second day I was here, I think everyone was asking me if I loved orange juice. I actually hate it, but I was like, “OOHHH SIII!” because I had no clue what they were asking me. Now they buy orange juice daily, and they always ask me why I make a funny face when I drink it. It’s because I don’t like it!!!!!!! But I don’t say that, and I’m slowly but surely getting more used to the flavor, and I even drank some yesterday, BY MY OWN WILL. There have been so many instances similar to this. A few weeks ago, family friends asked me if I liked cow testicles. I only understood cow, because normally I don’t think that a Spanish two class is taught the words testicles. So I told them that I loved it. Schools should re-think that, because knowing that could have saved me a lot of mouthwash when I figured out what I had just eaten.

Spain is more amazing than I could have ever imagined. I have been through so many different feelings since I’ve been here. I’ve been through happiness, excitement, nervousness, EXTREME nervousness, relief, self-doubt, anger, regret, and fear. But I always get past all the negative feelings, and remember how lucky I am to get to do this. I have not been here long at all, and I feel changed. I feel like a new person already. Not only because I can communicate with people in a different language, but also because I’ve learned how to rely on myself for things. Already I feel more responsible; more independent, more confident, and more and capable of doing things I never would have thought I could have done before. I will be forever grateful of everyone that helped in giving me this life changing opportunity.

p.s. I got my book you sent me mom, thank you so much (: